Peace Out, 2009

12/09/2009
11:42 AM

Reflecting back thirty years from now, I have no idea how I’ll summarize the year of 2009. Illusions of true love. A lay off. Heart break. Unemployment. Rock bottom. Rock Band. The Pink Slip Club. Family. A new opportunity. Promotion. Over 78,000 miles flown. New life. These are just a few words to describe the roller coaster ride that was 2009.

Many lessons were learned and I wouldn’t have done anything differently. Everything happened for a reason and although at times it wasn’t abundantly clear, it now is finally starting to make sense.

You can plan and plan and plan your life out but you must be ready for derailment. One day, you’re on cruise control, hitting new strides and highs. The next thing you know, the rug is pulled from underneath you. The fucking sky is falling. You lose sight of what’s most important to you and even compromise your values. You’re at the bottom of a well and the walls are starting to close in you. You’re suffocating. Are you going to fold or play the hand you were dealt?

I was in that well for a long time. To put it simply, I was off. I lost my sense of purpose and shut everything down, shutting everyone out of my life. People were concerned but I didn’t care. I wasn’t myself – I didn’t know who I was or wanted to be anymore.

I never thought it’d get to that point. It was so bad that I slept on the couch for a month straight. My comfort zone was stripped from me. My room was a constant reminder of failure. I never felt so alone.

The truth is that I wasn’t alone. The entire job searching and interviewing helped alleviate the pain. It was something to focus what little energy I had left on.

As my wise brother DJ stated, “Adversity builds character.” I woke up one day, looked out of the window and saw a winter wonderland. That’s when I realized that the Earth doesn’t stop spinning for anyone. Life has to and will continue to go on.

For the past 7 months, I’ve operated in “Eff you” mode. I refuse to stop. I will not run. I will not hide. I will not fail. I will exceed expectations. I deserve it. I am better than that. I am me.

So peace out…fuck you 2009.

12/29/2009
2:30 PM

Mergers & Acquisitions: This year also brought new life into our already extensive family. Congratulations are in order for:

• Rupesh & Sarika: son Sahil
• Tawnee & John: married in May and expecting!
• Terry & Alesha: married in August
• Jontue & Phala: daughter Mealea
• DJ & Linda: daughter Alezandra
• Will & Laura: son William David the Third
• Joe & Katie: son Dylan
• Travis & Amy: married in October, son Sawyer James (expecting soon!)

In appreciation for what you’ve done, what you’ll do, and what you mean to me, I want or need to specifically say thanks to the following people:

• Jason: For simultaneously also being a victim of circumstance. We made it out, bigger and better.
• Linda: For helping start the Pink Slip Club.
• Jaison: For trying your best to hook a brother up. You are always appreciated.
• James: For letting me do what I had to do and showing concern in your own way.
• Sonia: For making James happy.
• Fino: For knowing exactly what to say and when. Your timing is impeccable. You’ve always been able to read my mind without me saying a word.
• Kelli: For being an inspiration, proving truth to the saying “if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.”
• Mom: For helping me understand why it was a mistake and didn’t work.
• Dad: For your “tough” love and always irritating teaching methods.
• Tawnee: For always being straight forward with me.
• John: For making Tawnee happy. Welcome to the family.
• Kalpesh: For helping put things into perspective.
• Choi: For your leadership.
• Tasia: For your forgiveness, tolerance, and willingness to move on. For being my best friend again.
• Shakti, Brittani, Xtina, Billy, Randy, and other members of the Pink Slip Club: For simply being there.
• Arun, Dominic, and Jontue: For being down for whatever, whenever.
• Terry: For proving that persistence is the key to getting what you want.
• Alesha: For being the thing that Terry always wanted.
• Stan: For being a role model.
• The Alpha Beta Chapter UG & Alumni: For a memorable Alpha Beta 10 year reunion. It couldn’t have happened at a better time.
• Rohan and Ausman: For helping me get back to myself, after the fact.

Happy New Year's, everyone...2010: let's sting it.

Namaste!

11/2/2009
1:03AM

I’m at the Delhi airport. The “free” wireless internet is down and our flight is delayed by 40 minutes. I had a great time in India; learned a lot about the cultural paradigm of our business, the history of the cities of Gurgaon and Delhi, visited one of the 7 Wonders of the World, ate a ton of vegetarian food, and somehow survived the past two weeks without resorting to a bottle of Pepto or going completely stir crazy. Here are a few (ok, more like a lot) of thoughts on India.

This place is dirty, and I’m not talking just about the trash or litter, I’m talking about how I’d never get away with wearing as much white here as I do back in the states.. A cloud of dust constantly looms over the atmosphere. My shoes collected a small brown film over the workdays. Luckily there was a mechanical shoe shine in the office. It’s no wonder that I didn’t see carpet in ANY building.

The smell is tolerable at best. Russell Peters exaggerated a bit about how it hits you in the face as soon as you get off the plane, but his description is pretty close. I also wouldn’t compare it to the smell of, say, Kalpesh’s house – that’s the sweet scent of Mama Joshi’s home cooking, something I could easily get used to after enduring two weeks of straight motherland odor.

Poverty is everywhere; abundant and prevalent. There are no neighborhoods of poor, middle class, upper middle class, or rich. It’s a big pot of poor and poorer, even in Gurgaon. At the train station on my way back from Agar, it struck me the hardest as I saw the numerous quadriplegics inching their way from tourist to tourist, begging for any handout.

The food isn’t as bad as I expected. I actually liked being a vegetarian while I was here. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell the difference.

Lunch was catered every day. It cost less than $0.80 per person to bring in a buffet cart for 20 people in the office. There was always enough food for seconds and it was pretty damn good. Don’t get me wrong, I love a great steak, but I am impressed at how well my body adjusted and didn’t so much even crave a thick piece of juicy cow. To my own credit, I did resist the temptation of eating any street vendor food. You can imagine how hard that was (that’s what she said) considering how much I love street meat (that’s what she said – AGAIN!)

Gurgaon is a booming city but is very young relative to the country. In the past 15 years, it has experienced an influx of businesses and population overload due to its proximity to the Delhi airport. What amazes me the most is that 40% of the area is owned by a single person. Every new construction project, building, etc. within a 40 kilometer radius is his. That dude’s balling out of control.

Delhi remains partly true to India’s rich heritage and history. It is part of what’s known as the “Golden Triangle,” which is comprised of three of the biggest tourist cities (Agra, Delhi, and Jaipur) in the entire country. I had the luxury of a taking an all day tour in Delhi, stopping at some of the major attractions. Check the pictures out on Facebook.

The first stop was at Qutb Minar, the tallest standing monument in all of India, and largest minaret in the world. Its purpose is often speculated but it is one of the earliest and more prominent pieces of Indo-Islamic architecture. Access within the tower is prohibited, but the story says that if you can extend your reach beyond the gate at the base and touch it, any wish you make will be granted.

Second stop was at the Lotus Temple, otherwise known as the Bahai House of Worship. This white-marble, flower-shaped structure was by far my favorite. It is open to all, regardless of religion and when inside, I decided to sit down and reflect. I don’t know how long it was in there for, but it only felt right as I found some inner peace.

Next up was Humayun’s Tomb. Started in 1562, it’s the first structure to use red sandstone and have a garden in it. Costing 1.5 million rupees (at the time), the tomb was commissioned to be built by the emperor’s wife. I only hope my future wife pay homage to me in a similar fashion after I’m long gone.

The next few stops included the Gate of India, the Red Fort, the Parliament house, and Rashtrapati Bhavan (the President’s House, which was closed to tourists that day.)

One of the most interesting parts of the tour was my taxi driver. That’s all he basically did – drive me around. He would drop me off at each location at the main entrance. I’d go do my thing and he’d wait in the parking lot until I was done. In between each site, he’d take some road off the unbeaten path and we’d end up in a souvenir or textile shop. After the second time, I asked him what the hell we were doing there and he used the “No speak English” clause on me. I finally purchased a few gifts for other people after the third stop and later found out that the drivers are in cahoots with these stores. They make a commission off the passenger’s purchase. Good thing I tipped him well too. Consider yourself warned.

Boarding call has started…time to end this madness (for now). There’s a casino in Amsterdam and I have another 4 hour layover…dangerous!

Final Argentina Thoughts (for now)

Friday, October 17th, 2009
10:48 PM

I’m 30,000 feet in the atmosphere and thought I’d close with some final thoughts on the Argentina trip. I worked a ton this past week, including a holiday on Monday, and I still feel that we haven’t covered everything. Another 1-2 week visit may be in store.

Buenos Aires is often times considered the Paris of South America. I agree to the extent that much of the city emulates Parisian architecture, but with the edges of the city run-down and the different pockets of neighborhoods, I’d go as far as to say that BA personally reminds me of New York City.

The city boasts a density of 13 million people, roughly 1/3 of the entire country’s population. Driving in from Rosario, the poverty stricken areas outline the highway that heads straight into the city’s heart. There are tall skyscrapers and historical buildings alike. I’ll have pictures posted in the near future.

My hotel was modest at best. I haven’t slept in a twin size bed since college. Its proximity to the office was ideal however the location was only a couple of blocks off an unbeaten path. This was prevalent as I was approached by the sketchiest of folks around a 2am walk to the bar.

Overall, I was impressed with the city and am looking forward to coming back. This trip was different from all my other trips as I was alone – literally. No team to fall back on as the local team took the Monday holiday off and already had plans for the weekend. I was quickly reminded of why I moved back to Minnesota.

As invaluable these experiences are in one’s lifetime, it means less when you don’t have someone to share them with.

Argentina

Friday, October 09, 2009
8:03 PM

I’m in a car with a driver on my way back to Buenos Aires. Rosario was much more than I anticipated and has a certain locale to it that I have yet to experience in any other city I’ve visited. You can definitely see and feel the European influence here, as this country was colonized by the English, French, and Italians.

Needless to say, the past two days have flown by. The team was more than accommodating and it’s always a pleasure to finally put faces to names that you’ve worked with virtually for months. After a 3 hour flight to Atlanta, followed by a 10 hour flight to Argentina, I met up with Sergio (the country controller) at our office in BA only to hop into his car for another 3 hour drive to Rosario.

Aside from the newness, as I’ve never been in South America, the country glows of its rich history scarred by economic mismanagement. Old and new buildings are tangled together like a pot of spaghetti. Certain areas are prevalent in their poverty. On our way to the plant only 30 minutes from Rosario, I couldn’t help but notice all the trash littered throughout the highways and boulevards.

Argentina is a huge hub for commodities. Its strategic location encompasses the majority of the Eastern coast of South America and its river system serves as the main highway for commerce via sea ports and vessels. Grain, soybean, and oil are among its major exports.

The food so far is phenomenal. No one is lying when they say that Argentina has the best steak in the world. Given its vast and diverse climates, cattle and livestock are one of its main resources. My first night in, I told Sergio about how I like to try new foods and the more unique, the better. The team had dinner plans at an Argentinean steak house, also know as a Parilla, which put Fogo De Chao to shame. We didn’t do the typical medley of meats that you’ll find at a Brazilian churrascaria as the team has something else in store for me.

We started off with the typical appetizers and salad. First up were French fries, a salad with a light vinaigrette dressing, and bread with a cheese spread. The next course contained meats that definitely intrigued me based on looks alone. Argentineans do not waste any part of the cow and I knew we were eating organs, I just didn’t know which ones.

Maria started to fill my plate, diligently trying to mask the look of each morsel by placing them upside down. I told them not to tell me what it was and that I would have to guess what each piece represented. In the end, I had tried their version of blood sausage, regular sausage, kidney, stomach, “sweat breathe” (which I can only believe was tongue), and cow brain. Yes, cow brain, which by the size of it completely explains how dumb an animal it must be if we were to judge by its size.

The main course was nothing like I’ve ever had before. I couldn’t tell if it was the cut or the way they cooked it, but these ribs were the finest I’ve every tasted. The meat was cooked on an Asador, an open fire of glowing coals around which a number of vertical metal crosses hold carcasses of goat, lamb and pork meat. These slowly rotate to get the most benefit from the glowing embers, and the chefs, usually in gaucho outfits, will come over from time to time to slice off portions as they are ordered by the customers.

The meat was thick and juicy, containing multiple layers, each with their own right in flavor. The outer most part, which most Americans are use to, reminded me of a pig roast, in the way that the skin was very crispy. It only lacked the layer of fat between the skin and meat that pigs are notorious for. Inch closer to the bone and the next layer of meat reminded me of duck - succulent in its own fat and very tender. The next layer closest to the bone definitely tasted like beef however much more lean and with a natural flavor only obtainable by a spit. My favorite part was the backside of the rib, where the meat was cooked just crispy enough to remind me of a beef flavored potato chip, burnt nicely to a crisp but not so much to lose its flavor. Dinner was definitely one of my trip’s highlights so far.

Sergio commented on the drive up that Rosario is the perfect city to inundate myself with the Argentinean culture. He said the city boasts the most beautiful women in the country. He was right. The women here were absolutely beautiful. Beautiful in that hair tied, sweatpants, chilling with no make up on beautiful. Beautiful in that I’m not used to seeing women like this on a daily basis beautiful.

The people are generally diverse, and by diverse, I mean there’s no way to stereotype an Argentinean the way we do other cultures. You can typically tell if someone is Indian, Mexican, African American, etc. but the people here are so different looking its hard to say. I also don’t mean diversity in the sense that there are all types of people here (black, white, Asian, etc.) Everyone here is Argentinean but you couldn’t tell based on the common characteristics. Blonde or brunette, light or nicely tan, there’s no telling then apart from the rest of the world.

A few random observations:

- People walk fast, but with no purpose. They are also on their cell phones most of the time they are walking.
- Unless they work in the service industry, they probably don’t speak English.
- There is trash everywhere. Everywhere.
- Traffic laws are more of a guide than a law. There is no issue with running red lights, especially when the light turns yellow. I assume that came from the Brit’s.
- I love the 3:1 exchange ratio from USD to Peso.
- Like Italians, the country shuts down, but only from the hours of 5-8. Dinner is typically eaten between 9-11PM.
- The Malbec wine has lived up to the hype.
- You can smoke anywhere and anything.
- The European feel isn’t just in the building architecture, it’s also in the cobblestone roads that defined downtown Rosario.
- I have never feared for myself or had such a heightened self awareness until I ventured out by myself last night. I hate having to continually watch my back.

Ride Of Shame

Here's a posting I found randomly while searching files on my laptop. Looks like it never made the final cut.

Ride of Shame

21-Apr-2007
02:01PM – Metro North Railroad

I’m on the 1:30 PM local from Stamford to Grand Central taking what is duly noted as the “ride of shame.” For those noobs, this is when you head home from an evening of debauchery, without having showered or bathed, and wearing the exact same outfit you did last night. No matter how much gum you chew, your breath reeks, your eyebrows are fray, and you sprayed half a bottle of cologne or Febreeze in an attempt to cover up the evidence.

Such rides include, but are not limited to, dastardly driving home after waking up next to a mistake you made (due to tequila the night before); taking the 4:50 AM train from New Haven to Stamford when you originally were in New York City, having a taxi paid for by the person you randomly hooked up with last night, etc.

This entry is by no means any complaint. Despite the fact that Foxwoods burned a hole bigger than a mason jar in my pocket last night, I’m fairly content right now. It’s 70+ degrees outside and today has not been a total loss of catching up on the REM cycles my body lacked this week. I’ve got my health, my job, my co-workers to keep me company, and my next 6 weekends planned for an action packed spring.

On the pod is “Slow Dance” by John Legend, which is my inspiration for today’s exposition. Being content is temporary, but there will always be something missing.

Spent

27-May-07 12:48PM
Flight 2884

Spent

I’m finally heading back home after a crazy busy 1.5 weeks. From Pino’s bachelor last Friday, Tasia’s graduation on Saturday, Jacksonville for a conference on Sunday, Daytona beach bumming on Thursday, to Toronto for Brian’s wedding on Friday and Saturday, I’m looking forward to the one day off I have tomorrow. Early Tuesday morning, I’m off to Chicago for my next assignment.

Summertime is near, which is noted by the season finale of my two favorite shows, Heroes and The Office. I was disappointed in both episodes, but like an acquired taste, maybe I need to watch it a few more times to appreciate them.

It’s the middle of wedding season, with two down and two more to go. Weddings are a great chance to get drunk and dance your ass off without repercussion. Brian’s traditional Chinese wedding yesterday was a first for me. They packed a Chinese restaurant with 580+ of their friends and family. There was no dancing, but an open bar and an after party at a bubble tea joint to compensate.

Toronto is a beautiful city. Located on lake Ontario, the city is home to the largest building structure in the world, the CN Tower. What struck me most about Toronto was the diversity. You hear and read about it but it doesn’t hit nearly close to home until you walk the streets amongst a random gradient sea of faces.

A few things to note about going out in Toronto:
- The drinking age limit is 19. I’ve never once felt like the old guy in the club - until Friday night at Embassy. These girls could have still been in high school for crying out loud.
- Never ever, ever, ever order a long island iced tea from the bar. When it comes in one, pre-mixed bottle, you know you’re getting ripped off.
- Expect to pay $20 Canadian to get into any decent club, even if the 15-year-old girl slutting her stuff outside offers a “free” pass.
- Women here are amazingly gorgeous, even if some of them were 6’5”.

I’m ready to get back home. My mind is numb from the constant abuse endured from work and my liver pained from senseless bingeing that comes from hanging out with people you haven’t seen in four months. I miss my New York apartment; I miss the city.

This summer should bring a new slate of memories waiting to be written. If all pans out, I should be in Europe for a good duration of the audit, kicking off the first couple of weeks in Chicago. Pino’s wedding is in a few weeks; Rupesh’s in England next month. The brotherhood will expectedly be in full effect this year. Not to mention the Pure Production parties twice every month. Let’s not forget to take a moment and remember to breathe.


Nothing Lasts Forever – Maroon 5

A bed that’s warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
But misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
I built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I’m asleep
If you don’t know
Then you can’t care
And you show up
But you’re not there
But I’m waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you
Everyday with every worthless word
We get more far away
The distance between us
Makes it so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever
But be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Homeward Bound

Homeward Bound

03-Mar-2007
04:01PM – La Guardia Airport

This city has a way of energizing me like nothing before. Something about the hustle, the noise, and the complexity that motivates and wakes me up every morning.

I’m at the Chili’s restaurant in the La Guardia airport right now. There’s a stench of mixed cologne, perfume, and rainwater in the air. What my boneless buffalo chicken appetizer lacks in zing makes up for it in tenderness and plenty of ranch sauce. Wash that down with a tall glass of Stella Artois and I’m not complaining at all.

It was pouring this morning. I have a tendency to lose things carelessly like umbrellas and sunglasses, so I don’t even bother buying either. Six hours later, only a few clouds lingered from the inclement weather that’s tortured our country over the past 48 hours. Tornadoes in the south – in February? The back-to-back blizzards in MPLS in less than a week? Seriously folks, go watch the move “Day After Tomorrow.” I’m not saying it’s a movie that’ll cause your paradigm to shift, but it definitely makes you wonder.

We checked out a comedy club last night. The name escapes me right now, but the performances won’t. Entitled “MySpace,” you can guess what the improvisation was all about. They pulled onto stage 3 audience members throughout the night along with their MySpace profiles. The “comedians” gathered enough material to bash the victim for a good 15 minutes. Not the most hysterical show I’ve ever seen, but a great concept nonetheless.
You gotta admire those people who got up on stage, even though I guarantee they beefed up their profiles prior to the show. You can’t take yourself seriously all the time. I commend them on having the ganas to publicly humiliate themselves.

Side bar: I just asked for my check. It was here in 45 seconds. I told the waitress “Wow, fastest thing you’ve delivered to the table since I got here.” She called me a “Dick.” I furled my brow, squinted my eyes at her and give her a mug. We both smiled.

I’m looking forward to getting home this weekend. It’s been over a month; and practically all winter since I’ve seen snow. Unfortunately, Ames will have to wait another year. Blessing in disguise since that would have translated to 6+ hours in the car on Saturday alone, but I’m still disappointed – was looking forward to getting back to the MW roots; the reason why I bleed purple.

Do you ever see an incredibly beautiful woman with the most random guy? Maybe I notice it more than others, but the world is full of these instances. It’s an unexplainable phenomenon, like after you fold a load of laundry and you end up with one sock missing. If you’re one of those girls, I open the floor to discussion. Please, enlighten us.

Current Mood: Stop This Train, John Mayer

“So scared of getting older
I’m only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to
Find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn sixty-eight
You’ll renegotiate
Don’t stop this train
Don’t for a minute change the place you’re in
Don’t for a minute think that I couldn’t ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly
We’ll never stop this train.”

Ash Wednesday

22-Feb-2007
01:22AM – New York City

My eyes and icebox are heavy and tired, but my mind and soul remain wide-awake. Encased between these four white walls, it’s beginning to feel like “home.” Conan is on the tube. My DVDs and CDs are scattered amongst my pocket stuffers on the dresser. The three alarms are set exactly 12 minutes apart on my cell phone so I can hit the snooze a few times before the new day starts. If home is where the heart is, why can’t mine reach a compromise?

Today was a beautiful day in the city. The sun was shining as its beams peeked through the multi-storied, skyscraper filled, concrete jungle that is New York. I intentionally walked an alternate route back from lunch, in hopes to soak as much of its energy before the inevitable nightfall takes the sun captive, and the city’s night-lights glow for the next 12 hours.

I don’t know which one is brighter from my window – the M&M store or Lehman Brothers. One thing is for sure; neither does Jenna justice.

I can’t sleep. It’s not that I don’t want to. I simply can’t. My body is accustomed to the 4-5 hours it receives on a regular basis during the week. Sundays are reserved for hibernation.

Hit the gym hard tonight. Thanks Diddy, for being my inspiration for perspiration. Found an awesome patio for parties once the sun and warm weather become a trend.

I have a routine before working out – besides procrastination. I cannot work out without music and for the longest time, I had lost the armband for my iPod. I’d given up on its search a while ago and wrote it off as something I left back in Connecticut (amongst other things, both intentional and unintentional).

That was it. Gone. Forever. Time to buy a new one.

To my surprise, as I tried to slip on my right gym shoe, there it was. Stuck in the place where I had last put it.

Ironic how sometimes, you find what you’ve been looking for all along – even when you weren’t searching for it.


Current Mood: Show Me, John Legend

“Maybe we’ll talk
Some other night
Right now I’ll take it easy
Won’t spend my time
Waiting to die
Enjoy the life I’m living
Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven is watching over me”